Friday 21 July 2017

My Very Amazing Son

I couldn't let this week pass without marking the moment on the blog somehow.

So here I am, just stood on the sideline watching my son and I am so blooming proud of him - as I am every day but today in particular - as he begins a new journey, taking that first, massive, independent step, leaving primary school behind forever.

It's been one huge tangle of emotions but what has been strange for me is having to come to terms with how I'm feeling about it all, because if anyone had told me just a month ago, a week ago even, that I would feel as emotional, as sad and as stomach-in-knots at the prospect of this era coming to an end then I wouldn't have believed them in the slightest.

But it's true - it is really affecting me right now.

I mean I know when you think of primary aged children you imagine little kids and think these huge emotions will come with high school ending or University graduation, but oh my goodness, when you are living through it this couldn't be further from the truth.

And now that I am here, fully in the moment I feel such a sense of loss...which probably sounds a little crazy I know.

Obviously this week isn't about me and I would never make it that way and whilst I'm always so very proud of him, of his manor, his achievements, his behaviour, the compassion he always feels for others, of the way he expresses himself, this week I have seen him with a fresh pair of eyes.

~ He's shown how amazingy he treats his friends and in turn I've witnessed how well they treat and think of him.

~ He's laughed, he's cried and he's resolved issues all on his own, having me there in the background to coax him if needed.

~ He's felt upset at the loss of moving on and away from three very close friends as they each venture onto new paths, but he's shown such a determination at keeping them as friends and has already discussed all of the ways he plans to keep them in his life despite not seeing them every day.

~ He's shown confidence, pure talent and just how at ease he finds performing and making people laugh with a lead, solo singing role in his school production

(he bloody smashed it!)

~ He's shown he is a very strong and determined young man who actually, as much as I hate to admit it, doesn't need me quite so close by all of the time anymore.

And these fresh seeing eyes of this Mother are ones that are realising that her beautiful baby boy is growing up and as much as we are so excited to see where his path will take him a massive part of this Mother doesn't want to let go.

She wants to hold on to her long haired, chubby faced baby boy, full of primary school innocence and keep him with his amazing group of fourty six primary school friends who are all bonded so well, for just a little bit longer...

There will be a few more tears shed before this day is over I guarantee but one thing is for certain my son is an amazing young man and I could never express in words just how much I love him.

* s i g h *

Who knew this transition period would be harder on the adults than the kiddies...

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