Tuesday 8 March 2016

Why All The Guilt?

The time is currently 06.40 am.

It's Tuesday 8th March 2016.

I've been awake since 4.50 am (which has always been a pritty standard get-up time for me), Baby Baker has had a bottle and is currently napping in my bed and I'm now waiting until 7.10 am when it's time to wake up "Big Bro Baker" for his shower for school.

As I stood in the bathroom, ooh about fifteen minutes ago, putting on my make up - a must to help me feel less Swamp-Thing like on the school run - there were so many things - blog related things - running through my head today.

"Damn, I haven't sorted those photographs out for the blog post yet"

"I need to get a blog post out today, I haven't done one in so long"

"Why did I take so long off!"

"No wonder my DA has dropped so much."

~ Stop ~

Why on earth am I always racked with all of these negative thoughts and feelings of guilt over something that is a hobby?

It shouldn't be like that, but my god, it really is.

Obviously I realise that if I want to keep a hobby - any hobby - afloat then I need to be putting in the time and effort, and I really do, especially if I'm working with a brand, but sometimes other things stand in the way.

Take for example a few weeks ago, it was the half term holidays, and without consciously planning what I was doing I ended up taking the full week away from my computer - because I was spending time with my children and it was the first holiday I'd had on my own with both of them.

And then, the week after that, my lil' lady was really poorly (and still isn't fully 100%) and if I'm honest, I couldn't face diverting any of my attention away from her, not even for a minute, and certainly not for the length of time required to put a post together, so another week went by without much "blog action".

It's all about priorities...but I felt so bad that I hadn't put any time into my blog.

I need to remember that first and foremost I'm a Mum and I have two little people who rely on me 100% of their time.

So sometimes my hobby has to take a backseat.

And that's fine.

So all this guilt I feel is going to stop.

I mean it's been that silly recently that I've even found myself feeling guilty over posting things on my Instagram page.

A different kind of guilt, but still guilt nonetheless.

And it's crazy I know.

I'm not daft, I know not everyone will want to see photographs each and everyday of my children (in fairness they are mainly pictures of Baby Baker - my son is ten now and if he doesn't want his pictures posting I have to respect his wishes) but I really enjoy posting them.

And it is my Instagram page after all...

And I do know that some people will like seeing them..

So why do I feel guilty?

Why have I stopped myself posting some pictures in the past in "fear" of people thinking it's way too much...?

Why indeed.

It's crazy.

I mean, yeah, I'm a Mum and I enjoy posting baby pictures, but I also love looking at fashion, make-up and foodie pages just as much as the next person.

I can't say I'm really all too fussed with seeing an individual's daily menu, right down to the drinks they had though...

And I do love a good lippie, but seeing a collection of fifteen different ones, all of a similar shade but with a slightly different pigmentation, well that doesn't really do it for me either...

And yep, whilst I really do think that pair of jeans make a person look amazing, seeing them styled twelve different ways simply by changing a necklace and an earring isn't totally my thing...

But of course some people will l-o-v-e to see things like that.

And whilst such things don't fully captivate me - as I know my baby outfit photos won't captivate a lot of people - I still appreciate that they are much loved by the photographer and I like them because of that.

Everyone's different after all, and so, I'm stopping with the guilt.

I love my blog, I love the people it has brought into my life and I love the opportunities it has brought my way
(again, opportunities presented to me that I shouldn't feel guilt for jumping to accept).

But if I don't blog for a week because I haven't had a minute to myself for days or have been looking after my children then is that really a problem?

No, it isn't.

I'm going to post what I like, when I like and hope that people respect and like me enough to just go with it - as I do them.

And now I am going to pop off, stop moaning and resume my Mum Duties as there is a little lady here who requires a little more of my attention.

Happy Tuesday everyone

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